cc

because I’d much rather be emotionally drained than emotionless.

4:06am

Words cannot describe how excited I am to see half of my ccb fam tomorrow. You guys keep me grounded and sane and this is possibly the best way to start my spring break. 

Thanks guys for always understanding and having my back… and making time for my frequent anxiety attacks.

Good luck LK during the show although you’ll be amazing without it. The obnoxious screaming you hear in the crowd will be your #1 fans: drunk choi and ang. and jyu (if hes alive by tomorrow). <3

choi

I slept 28 hours within the past 30 hours… 

wtf.

I can’t believe no one woke me up from my narcoleptic vegetable status, or that I even slept for that long without having my mom freak out and call the ambulance. But most of all I can’t believe my dad picked me up at 5AM that late friday night (saturday morning for the rest of the world) from the bus stop without any questions or confusion– which confused me actually. He didn’t ask why I decided to come at this hour or why I didn’t call beforehand… in fact, his voice over the phone sounded as if he had been awake anyway. I had to check my phone twice to make sure I wasn’t hallucinating am for pm– and no, it was “morning.” 

When I got home, the only thing they asked was “buses run at this hour?” with a laugh and that was all. Sometimes, its nice simply having someone understand without having to explain anything.

so after feeling super weird for too long, i did some research and realized that i have something called ’sleep start’ or ‘exploding head syndrome’ ………..

1) i didn’t even know such a feeling was categorized as a syndrome and
2) exploding head syndrome, really? they couldn’t come up with a better name?..

lol its by far the strangest thing i can’t even describe; i get the sensation of physically falling at the moment i fall into a deeper state of sleep with an intense ringing in my ear for a split second. I can’t really tell if i’m awake or not but after it happens, its hard to go back to sleep because it usually happens again. Koreans usually associate these episodes with ghost spirits which is probably the only reason why i freaked out. Sometimes it occurs mildly when i’m just lying down watching my madmen :( Its usually this with an occasional visit by my sleep paralysis— though i can’t figure out if this ‘exploding head syndrome’ is causing my sleep deprivation or my sleep deprivation is causing this. either way, fuc my big exploding head..

a lot of people have been telling me recently “enjoy school while it lasts; school is good”
not a single person has told me they much rather be working than be in school— which worries me. I guess it’s just how i tell those younger than me to enjoy highschool— life doesn’t get terribly worse, but it doesn’t get much better. Will it ever? 

oh jesus,

if there is a heaven on earth it is the feeling of escaping class to enjoy a nice tan by the window-side while squeezing the sugary goodness out of those Trader Joe’s Cara Cara Navel Oranges and watching Madmen to sleep.

That is all i need.

and signed his book for me!

(Damn Good Advice George Lois )

“The more I think about Mad Men, the more I take the show as a personal insult. So, fuck you Mad Men- you phony, “Gray Flannel Suit,” male-chauvinist, no-talent, WASP, white-shirted, racist, anti-semitic, Republican SOBs!
Besides, when I was in my 30s I was better looking than Don Draper.” 

okay, but i still love the show<3

The excitement I feel after successfully completing a project is the greatest feeling ever. I can’t help but to do a little victory skip down my kitchen and then just gaze at it for a few hours the way I do for my tumblr. I live for moments like these. Its the only thing that keeps me going.